Saturday, April 23, 2011

My Top 10 Worst Reality Shows

This list is in no particular order and was NOT stolen from another individual. Copyright Infringement will not be tolerated and all property goes to Steven Chung....AH SCREW IT! I don't what you want. :) 

- Blog #24: One of the best sayings that come to mind when it comes to life is, "Life is a TV show." You don't hear it said all that much, but I still think that this is true to life. What's more real than life? Reality. Reality is more real than life. Why? It's because it's real! There's even the word "real" in the word "reality." Where does this all lead? It leads to the idea that reality can not and WILL not be duplicated. Now, we come to the idea of reality TV shows. Some are entertaining and meaningful (American Idol, Myth-Busters, Extreme Makeover: Home Edition), but then there comes the really long list of really bad television-produced mayhem. I haven't done a "Top 10" list on bad things in a while. Bear with me if I sound too baby-faced or too excruciatingly biased. This "Top 10" was NOT filmed in front of a live studio audience, but a live front-and-center audience of WWW (world-wide-web) geekazoids!

1. Wife Swap - I don't see the entertainment in this. I'm sure, just like everything else, that people watch these kinds of shows just because they're funny. What is with everyone watching things and liking things just because they're funny? I understand that this is entertainment, but this is more sad than entertaining. I don't find anything funny about the idea of exchanging your wife (mother) for some twisted social experiment. It's a basic concept where two completely different families swap their wives. Each wife also switches roles with the other, as they are left with a list of tasks the other wife normally does. The second week, however, the "new" wife can make their own rules for the house. This is only a two-week deal, but I think that's too long as it is. The families offer to join this show but...really? Why do something like this to yourself and your kids? Imagine having an adorable 5-year kid. He/she is not going to have any real clue of what's going on here. I wouldn't want to be without my real mother for that long if I was that young. I know for a fact that my mother is way more sensible than to do something as stupid as this. Why cause public embarrassment to your own family, showing that you're either horrible parents or horrible spouses? Speaking of which, FOX made (*cough* stole *cough*) a show called Trading Spouses, which is similar to the ideas here.        

2. The Biggest Loser - This show can be seen from one of two perspectives. One way of looking at this show is by giving a sense of inspiration and hope. The winner of this show wins a cash prize for losing the most initial weight relative to their starting control. It's great that these people are so eagerly willing to lose weight and escape obesity. Unfortunately, if you're looking at the show from how I see it, you might be shaking your heads in distaste for this show. You begin to wonder how these people ended up fat and bloated to begin with. Obesity is one of America's biggest problems right now. Most people can avoid, while others can do not too much about it. Those who can't help being obese, I pity. I still respect them as real humans. Those who can control the situation by working out and eating healthier, I say "What are you doing?" and sigh with discontent. It's good that NBC makes the main focus of the problem obesity, but I don't think this is the best way to present something like this. We need money to motivate us to lose weight? Pfft...      

3. Jon and Kate Plus 8 (Kate Plus 8) - What a massive disappointment. I first heard of this show from watching a few episodes during a vacation trip I took with my family. Honestly, I thought this show was kind of interesting and would hit off big in the reality TV world. Little did we know how much drama this show was really going to become in a matter of time. It's a show about Jon Keith, Kate Gosselin, and their eight kids. That sums the show up for the most part. So, what's wrong here? Jon had an affair (typical crazed man) and was caught by his wife. Bad hit, right? Well, not quite yet. Shortly afterwards, Kate was found out to have had a possible affair with one of her bodyguards. Tragic. Ever since calls on separation began to unfold, the show went all downhill. The worst part about all of this is that the eight kids are going to live with all of this in their memories. The divorce, the flawed TV series, and the fact that their mother is still trying to keep this show running. On December 18, 2009, Jon and Kate divorced and ended a 10-year marriage. As a result for the station, Jon was secluded from the show and the new airing title was Kate Plus 8. Not really sure what this new rendition is like, since I've never even bothered to watch it.

4. The Hills - Where do I begin? How can one call this trash "reality" and enjoy it? It's like Sex and the City (I can't believe I'm comparing anything to that show), but worse. How is it worse? It's REALITY Sex and the City. I forced myself to watch a couple episodes just to see what it's like. I can honestly say it's one of the worst shows I've seen in my entire life. The show documents the lives of these idiots and all the drama-filled crap they live through. I can't even go on to talk about what the storyline of this whole show revolves around. I'm confused as all hell as to what goes on as the show progresses. One minute we're talking about job interviews, the next we're with guys, the next we're partying like it's the 60's, the next it's the over-exaggerated crying moments over the breakups over these dumb-ass guys...I have no f*cking idea. First off, all these girls are schmucks. Secondly, I think this "Spencer" guy is an absolute douche and I can't comprehend how anybody likes him. Third...don't watch this show. It's repetitive, it's repulsive, and it's NOT reality. It's a fantasy world involving one's idea of a reality. This show proves that being the rich person doesn't always make you the classier person. I can't believe this is labeled as reality TV. I just can't.

5. ElimiDATE - I thought reality game shows were supposed to be fun, entertaining, and purposeful. I can't emphasize the word "purposeful" enough here. One contestant chooses between four contestants of the opposite gender by eliminating them one-by-one in three rounds. Reality dating shows have no meaning, especially when you make a game out of it. There's no prize money, no thrilling challenges, and no guarantee that you leave the game show with everything you've desired. For all you know, you could get dumped by the same person who picked you one week later. Again, this is entertainment. Though I'm not certain myself, everything that this show had was all staged. Ratings for ElimiDATE were so low that the contractors of the show wouldn't re-air a new season. So, in 2006, the reality dating show was taken out of commission. Good riddance. It didn't even have a good theme song for the show. Horrible, horrible music.

6. Supernanny/Nanny 911/Whatever show there is involving a nanny - I don't have to much to say about these shows because I have the same problem here that I had with Wife Swap. Why go through the humility of expressing how bad a parent you are by joining shows like these? Another thing. Why does the nanny have to be British? I'm trying not to sound racist or anything, because nationality is the least of my concerns here, but why not have an Asian nanny or a Russian nanny (that would be freaking scary). These shows all document a nanny taking care of naughty children. Not at all like a Mary Poppins scenario.

7.  America's Next Top Model - This is not necessarily a bad show, but it's one that's suddenly becoming stale. However, this goes beyond stating the fact that I am a guy. From what I see, the girls don't seem to be unique at all. I guess being beautiful comes at a price. None of them stand out as anything significant. This show exemplifies drama and extends the meaning to the word "bitching." It's an educational show in a way. You're given an insider's look on how a model goes through life and it also shows that the fashion world is not all peaches and cream (again reiterating that I am a guy and I have no real interest in this whatsoever). A lot of the girls are also kind of whiny, a pain, and not even that pretty. I'm one of those people though who believe that inner-beauty is more important than outer-beauty. I guess that's just the main reason why I don't like this show (not that I watch/study it daily and again reiterating my manhood).

8. Survivor - I actually don't watch this show all that much and for good reason. In this show, it seems that there are a number of contestants who become stranded on an isolated area and are forced to live and compete in the wildness. The contestants are then eliminated by progressive challenge losses and the last person standing becomes the "Sole Survivor" of the season. The "Tribal Council" is when all the contestants get together to vote someone off the island. It's like the polar opposite of Lost. This show is just boring. Honestly. There's no interesting concept to Survivor as near as I can figure. There's too many weird rules and yet it's all too...simple at the same time. The only difference between each season seems to be that contestants are placed on a new island in a new country. Technically, they're not even stranded alone. The contestants must have some kind of protection, like the camera crew and such. It's all too inexplicable.


9. The Bachelor/Bachelorette - It's the same problems as ElimiDATE, except with more people and no challenges. Boring, stupid, and a waste of air-time. Enough said.

And now...the moment you've all been waiting for...

10. Jersey Shore - When I told people I was doing this list, the first show that came as a suggestion from the mouths of the viewers was the good ole' Laguna Beach! OH HELLLLLLL NO! My mistake. It was Jersey Shore. It's all about the lives of eight (I think) roommates who spend their summers and such on the shores of Jersey. "Dubbed a cultural phenomenon, the series has garnered record ratings for MTV, making it the network's most viewed series telecast ever." How is this possible? Oh, I know. It's this generation. We're all about partying, getting drunk, living La Vida Loca, and getting sh!tfaced. I HATE THAT! If any person had a sensible brain cell left in them, they would avoid this show at all cost. Why follow up on the individuals who are simply a cause to the demeaning image of what we now call "America?" It's a new age of American pop culture? My ass! Real cultural aspects like jazz and the introduction of the new Middle Eastern revolution are more interesting than this piece of dog-stew. I lied before when I said that The Hills was the worst show I've ever seen. After watching just a little bit of Jersey Shore, I can see clear as day that this is even more of a bad influence than The Hills. How? The girls in The Hills are actually doing something somewhat productive with their lives. With Shore, it's all about partying, getting drunk, living La Vida Loca. Have I said that already? Anyway, it's MTV. As long as that rat-hole of a station exists, and as long as adults allow kids to watch it, we're always going to be stuck with rebellious and uneducated fools. No good comes from MTV. You can't convince me otherwise. The day I'm convinced is the day I choose to end my confused life, as morbid as that sounds. SNOOKI!? SNOOKI WRITES BOOKS!? Some Oxford English professor better have proofread that book! There is no way that girl can write an intelligent story that can captivate people's lives. Not in the way that authors like J.D. Salinger (R.I.P.) or even Deval Patrick can. The videos on YouTube of the cast are stupid. "T-shirt time"? What the f*cking hell is this "T-SHIRT TIME" nonsense? I looked up the video and I don't even find it funny or interesting. Even if a show is funny, that doesn't make the show great. While I agree that stereotyping is a terrible thing, the image of people who only focus on partying and working out stays pretty relevant. What's so great about "The Situation?" His face is a situation to me. Pauly D is another Spencer from The Hills and I have no idea who everyone else is. This is all just too painful and I don't even know why I'm bothering to heckle this show any longer. I'm hoping that others will start to understand the insanity and learn to avoid it and appreciate life for what it gives you. Jersey f*cking Shore...what a disgrace.               

- Done.

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