- Blog #27: Alright. Here it is. Even the greatest of the great can produce the worst of the worst. Mario is perhaps the most well known video game character, with the exception of icons like Pac-Man who established video-gaming as we knew it. But, never mind that. Here's some of the Homer Simpson moments of Super Mario! "Wa-Hoo!"
Worst Mario Games
1. Wrecking Crew - Wrecking Crew is one of those games that's been long forgotten, and it's probably best that it forever remains that way. After playing this game once, one question was floating in my mind. "Isn't Mario supposed to be a plumber and not a demolition worker?" It was that question, and "Why is Luigi wearing purple?" It was like playing the weaker brother of Donkey Kong, minus the ability to jump. The main basis of Wrecking Crew was like a puzzle game, where you're put in a situation to figure out how to tear down walls and everything else apart in a certain order. Sure, you had the ability to design your own levels. What's the point? It's a very stale game and a very boring one. The only good thing to come out of this game? The music.
2. Hotel Mario - I never even played this one and it's on the list. Why? Check out anything on YouTube that relates to this horrific excuse of a Super Mario World sequel. Yeah. You heard me right. If you've seen what I'm talking about, then you'll know that SHUTTING DOORS...is NOT a Mario game. Bowser gets angry, he kidnaps the princess (surprise, surprise), builds castles in the form of hotels out of spite, and 30 coins now equal one...life. What!? THAT'S THE SEQUEL!? Plus, for some reason, the Fantasy Factory developers thought it would be a really good idea to add cheesy cut-scenes throughout the game. This wouldn't be a big deal, if the voice actors were done by Charles Martinet and the cast that exist in our generation. This is one game you don't want to "check out."
3. Super Mario Bros. 2 - You know what? Fan-boys can take a big one up the...coin box...for this one. There was no excuse for Nintendo to produce a game that was flawed before it was even made. Mario fans should know the story behind the creation of this game. If not, then let's recap. The game Super Mario Bros. 2? You know, the one that you call a classic NES game? Well, it's a lie. You're playing a lie. I played a lie. When I found out the truth behind this game, I was honestly shocked beyond belief. Nintendo "stole" the idea for Super Mario Bros. 2 from another game called Doki Doki Panic. They basically took every idea from the original game and changed very little. The only changes made include the title screen, the character replacements, and other pix-elated rift-raft that only a hardcore gamer would notice. Even with these changes, nothing else was re-vamped. The stages, the enemies, the bosses, and the game play were all the same! Now, stepping away from the trial casing for a moment, there are other issues with this game. WHERE'S WART NOW! Where's the final boss, or any of the bosses for that matter, now? The only boss that has made any impact in the Mario series, from Super Mario Bros. 2, is Birdo. And I'm still confused as to whether Birdo is male or female...eerie. At least Nintendo had the decency to RE-re-make this game into something even better than the original, and that would be Super Mario Advance. The controls and game play were improved, and things were made more enjoyable for the player. So, if you've never played this game, then you're not missing anything. Consider it a blessing.
4. Mario Teaches Typing - I'm sorry, but it's not possible to combine a legend like Super Mario with school education. It just doesn't fit, and it worked out miserably with Mario Teaches Typing. The fact that Mario speaks broken-English, and is even teaching English typing, is one thing. But, the music in this game made you literally want to kill a puppy. It was very repetitive and continuously looped to the point where your ears might have started to bleed. Plus, it's typing. There's not much fun in that. I get sore fingers from typing these blogs, but I actually find doing blogs more entertaining than playing this game. This game lacks any form of fun. Seriously. Mavis Beacon Teaches Typing is more fun than this game! I guess the game can (maybe) improve your typing skills, but it's not at all an impressive victory for Nintendo.
5. Dance Dance Revolution Mario Mix - There are more bad Mario games out there besides the ones that I have posted here, but I can only list games that I've either played or heard about with an extreme degree. Some of those games not included could have actually been worse than this one. Well, here's a game that I have played...and boy was I disappointed. DDR games are supposed to have a very wide selection of songs to chose from, but there are very few here. Plus, the storyline for this game got very boring, very fast. You can still play DDR here, as you normally would with the real thing, but you'll notice that this game is a little easier. I guess the upside here is that a young child could probably enjoy this game, without noticing the negative details that reveal the game for what it really is. Other pluses? Bowser can break-dance like mad! Crazy, dawg! But seriously, not a great game. Music can be pretty catchy! However, it just doesn't make up for how horrible the game play is or how much this game lacks. This game is like a (dare I say)..."Destruction Dance?"
- Done.
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